Bowling to Vegas - Fan Letters

Thought I would share with you the humble beginnings of a displaced Chicagoan's Hot Dog Tour of America! Your site is inspiring! We now reside in Vegas. Lauren and I began her tour in LA, after a cosmic bowling experience. I hate to say it, but I prefer roller skating to bowling any day. Ever been to Rainbow??? Best of luck. To bad we missed you in our current town. Viva Chicago! Joanna

We have not been to Rainbow - always looked like the kind of place we'd just get beat up in. We're sorry that roller-skating takes precedence over the bowling. Perhaps you should try bowling while wearing roller skates? Sure, there'd be some engineering/physics issues to work out, but maybe that would help you segue into the Sport of Kings. Thanks for the picts.

You guys are so dreamy (I loved your bios)...I can just picture you with your bowling shirts and shoes, swilling beer, making wise cracks. You just don't understand how terribly disappointed I am that I can't meet you somewhere on the road and watch you bowl. It would be just like a Hollywood movie. Marilyn

We are also disappointed you can't meet up with us. And it would be just like a Hollywood movie. It would be just like Kangaroo Jack.

Hey dudes, On your next run you should send out notices for all the great moms across the country to make you fried chicken, No good Christian women would let you out of her house without a good meal and drink and a nice hot shower and offer to wash your clothes for you, ...................she would also probably send cookies for the road.......I hope you are taking notes! What are you guys driving anyway?????? I liked the hum-V idea........you are probably roughing it in some Volvo leather reclining seated automobile! As to the Averages, I bowl with 3 blind women and we do the help me O-B-wan-can-no-B sort of thing where they count their steps and walk straight to the middle with their eyes shut,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,of course they are blind it wouldn't matter ..................but maybe those of lower averages could try this effort for a game or two.................you might be surprised.....................Good luck, sorry about the food but at least you found a kind women to give you libations for the night...............If you were in Iowa I could make you some fine fried chicken and some mashed potatoes and gravy, vegetable of choice........I would throw in some wash for you while Dick got you comfortable with some plain old Bud, leaded since I'd make you all go to bed early, no need for light beer. Keep safe and have fun, Love, Your Auntie Angel from Iowa

What can we say? You're offering up food, beer and laundry? We're on our way.

Don't drink so much you make any, ahem, questionable judgements about women on the road. I mean, yeah, use 'em if they're available, but for god's sake don't decide to haul any of them home to Chicago, ok? We got enough skanks here to last a lifetime. I oughta know. Hope you're having a great time! Love, Julie

So you're saying we have to set all our skanks free? That's a shame...we spent so much time making that cage.

A special thanks goes out to Delores Robinson from Poplar Grove, IL. She sent us a stack of bowling coupons (good for free games), cut from the back of Banquet Frozen Dinner packages. Delores, we love you, but have you given much thought to your sodium intake?

Uncle Matt, Hope you have a nice time on your trip. I hope you have a nice time bowling. I hope you come home safely. Love Claire and Gracie

See? We are loved and adored by small children. At least Matt is. The rest of us are generally feared by children. Old people, small mammals and civil servants don't seem terribly fond of us either.

Great idea - making it your job to bowl and drink beer for a week, while avoiding real work. Where do I sign up for "Bowling to Uraguay?" Anyhoo, when you pass through Colorado, make sure you order a steaming bowl of "Rocky Mountain Oysters" at one of the greasy spoons you will encounter in your travels.

P.S. What kind of vehicle are you driving? You should get Hummer to loan you an H2. Or, you could get a used car dealer to loan you a '77 Cadillac Eldorado. Now that's stylin'. Dan Limbach, Algonquin, IL

Thanks for the suggestions...we did contact several horseless carriage vendors, but none expressed much interest in our venture. A Caddy would be sweet. So would an H2 - kind of turn the trip into "Bowling to Damnation Alley". As it is, we've rented a mid-size SUV thing - practical, but not terribly photogenic.

I'm sure that this is just a practice run for next years Bowling to the Bronx. This has a much better ring to it and will add a survival aspect to the experience. Vincent Obermeier

That does sound intriguing. It would be just like Escape From New York. But with more bowling.

You guys were great on WGN! You need a publicist. You would be perfect for Letterman, Leno, The Man Show, etc. Mike from So. IL

Thanks...we agree. We're really hoping for a spot on Dr. Phil. We have a lot of issues to work out.

If I wasn't such a shmuck, I would follow you guys around like the Grateful Dead or Phish, but I have a cubicle and that means that I have to ask permission to even go to the bathroom. I wish you all well and hope that you find a lot of Amish women on your journey. Jonathon Nelson, South Central New Jersey

Sorry about the whole cubicle-bathroom thing. We're talking about two diiferent rooms, right? Is that a roll of toilet paper by your trash can?

Sounds like a blast! What alley will you be bowling in when you get to Vegas? I have a daughter that lives there. (unknown)

A daughter you say? A daughter that bowls, you say? We'll bowl wherever she's bowling. But we're staying at Castaways, and working our way out from there.

Too bad your path isn't through San Francisco, I'd buy it in person. I can't bowl to save my life, but as a now stay-at-home-mom I miss the idea of being able to "take a road trip". Going to the grocery store is enough planning and adventure now! Have fun! I'll be reading about you! (Germaine Brown)

Knowing that you're living vicariously through us places a lot of stress on our shoulders. We suggest you do what we do...live vicariously through the A-Team.

How can you guys make this road trip and not keep coming to LA? I mean, seriously, your origin is Chicago -- you could enhance your trip by commenting that you've bowled all along Route 66! Also, I'm really irritated with your timing because I'm going to be in Flagstaff about 4 days before you. But, please note that I FULLY support your mission! Bowling is God. That is all. (Chris Pullman)

Bowling IS God. A petty, vengeful god that likes to disguise itself as a goat and mate with mortal women.

Probably the coolest place to bowl in St. Louis is the Saratoga, in Maplewood. You might also hear about the various Pink Galleon, but they're just tacky - not kitchy. (Chris in St. Louis).

The Pink Galleon...we assumed that was a bowling alley for gay pirates, but apparently it's a hangout for bowling skanks. So we'll definitely check that out.

I would like to know how the term Brooklyn got it's name? I know that the ball enters the strike zone on the opposite side the bowler bowls with, but no one seems to know where the term came from? Could you please tell me. Thanks (Dennis Bade)

Hmmm...Brooklyn is east of New York, so we're not quite sure what the deal is there, because on a map that would be to the right.

Must have something to do with the way New Yorkers sort of looked down on Brooklyn back in the early 20th century. So if you get a strike on the wrong side it's because they were too stupid to throw it to the proper side or something.

Or, more likely...

Brooklyn - Also known as the Brook or the Brookie ("Brucky"), the term takes it's name from the Brooklyn bridge implying the other side. It refers to when the ball misses the pocket and crosses in front of the headpin making contact on the other side. (courtesy of amf.com)