In an effort to add a little meaning to our otherwise empty lives, we're giving something back to society.

A Bowling to Vegas bowling shirt.

The shirt will accompany us along the trip, getting autographed by local celebrities, bowling champs, porn starlets and anybody we meet who seems vaguely interesting.

The shirt has been personalized with the name "Smokey". If you catch the reference, you won't win any money, but you'll get our hard-earned respect. Which, in some primitive cultures, is actually worth more than money.

Upon our triumphant return we'll auction off the shirt, with all proceeds going to a worthwhile cause. We're going to teach the nation's youth how to read. Why? Because when we were kids, TV was called books. RIF (Reading is Fundamental) maintains several programs that help to ensure not only that kids get books into their tiny paws, but that they know what to do with them. Of course, we're assuming we pick the reading list. Chronicles of Narnia, Raymond Chandler, William Gibson and Arthur C. Clarke.